Maddy’s Journal 8 (Farming Simulator 22 fan fiction)

I got a little sidetracked in my last entry. Well, a lot sidetracked. But that’s the benefit of a journal and not a—gasp!—diary. When I journal I can take every rabbit trail I want and not feel like I broke some unwritten rules. I always found diaries as too specific and full of excessive introspection. Me, I just prefer to write whatever comes to mind. Sometimes those ramblings jar loose rusty memories, which is where this entry is going to take me. Back to December 11, 1990. The day I became terrified of fog. It was a Tuesday. 

The decision to begin Christmas break early my senior year was not my idea. I wanted extra days to spend with friends. And hit up your typical high school party. A little drinking, petting, strip poker. You know, standard young person exploration mixed with stupidity stuff. I’ll admit to being on the wild side. I was safe, or at least I believed I was safe at that age. Okay, okay. I had been on the pill for five years already, so I was a lot more careless than I should’ve been. At least looking through the twenty-twenty hindsight eyeglasses, I was safe. Before you all think I was the local bicycle, I had—yes had—as in not anymore, a physical condition that birth control managed. Of course, how would I know? Mom is the one who insisted I be on birth control. 

TMI, I know. But you’re the one reading this so don’t throw stones in my direction. 

My dad’s family all lived in Chattanooga. And I do mean all his family. They had migrated up and down the east coast from Florida to Maine and back south again. They were like migrating animals always chasing the rainy season for greener pastures. But when they arrived in Chattanooga, it was like they arrived at the Mara River, and not one of them was willing to take that first leap into the River of Death. 

And that’s where we were headed on that Tuesday morning. We had to leave early even though we had driven all the way to Asheville, North Carolina the day before. Still almost four hours to go. So, we were out the door by six that morning, and planned no stops until arriving at my uncle’s house. 

At Knoxville we took Interstate 75 south after leaving Interstate 40 from Asheville. I don’t recall what the traffic was like. Or the weather. Or anything, really. My mind concerned itself with other things far more important to an eighteen year old. Besides I wasn’t driving. And Knoxville wasn’t new. We had been there before. An hour later all hell had broken loose. And the images I saw that morning still haunt my sleep. 

If it wasn’t for my dad’s heroics, I’m not sure I would’ve ever come to grips (as flimsy as they still are) with the carnage. But what my dad did that day for so many people has always provided me with a lifeline. And the scars on his arms are a not-so-subtle daily reminder of the events that started with the fog. 

I’ll need a break for now. The memories are too overwhelming for me to focus on writing. And the tears in my eyes are making the screen blurry. 

Maddy’s Journal 6 (Farming Simulator 22 fan fiction rough draft)

 September 1

It’s early afternoon here in North Carolina. LW called here around 8, so 6 his time. He said some of the estate money had trickled in. He told me he wanted to make a land purchase and get contractors in to build a chicken coop, a couple pigsties, and a cow pasture. I told him to go ahead with the purchases, and I would see him in a week. 

He sounded shocked at that. When I asked him why, he said he didn’t expect me to return so soon. But the way he said it burned my ear a bit, and for a few moments I didn’t see him in my minds eye. I saw a greenish, drooling troll running across a bridge with an army bag stuffed with cash. And for the first time since I met LW, I wondered if he was on the level. Or was he taking me for a ride? 

Then he asked me if I would be willing to sell calves. The price wouldn’t be better than adults, but if we managed to get 40 top quality heifers, and if they bred well, we would end up with 40 great cows. Quality breeders were more valuable in the long run. Maybe 8-10 years. 

He warned me that the livestock would likely need to be fed by purchase. But next fall we would have grown all the crops needed to produce our own feed. 

And finally he put a bug in my ear about cotton. It wouldn’t be of any benefit to the animals, but the current market was good, and we could use it as a cash crop. Maybe even ship some off by train for a premium price. The initial investment would be high, but he thought it would be a boon in the long game. 

Then he signed off. He said a long day was just beginning. 

Just now heard from LW. He said a local farmer just sold off his entire spread. Something about a grisly divorce. He would be willing to sell all his slurry to us on the cheap. Since I wanted to go as organic as possible to told LW to get it all. 

Treva's Watch from the "Saga of Regine" by Brunhilde the Bard.

 The following is an excerpt from The Saga of Regine (Biography of a Vampire) as told by Brunhilde the Bard. 

ONE

Regine approached Treva’s Watch from the shoreline of the Treva River. The fort sat large on the northern shore of the river. The southern wall faced the river, and a single gate secured the entrance. Several timber ramparts protected most of the wall sections, providing cover for archers or mages. The fort’s tower occupied the northwest corner, providing an elevation advantage agains any assaults from the north where enemies could attack along a hillside. A campfire provided some orientation on the northeast wall where bandits could rest and eat when not on patrol. 

East of the fort another campfire offered some illumination against the growing darkness of night. As Regine approached she notice three Nords sitting in a half-circle around the fire. They were engaging in conversation she couldn’t quite make out. 

A man named Stalleo sat on a wood stump. He had gray hair cut in a thick stripe and the sides of his head were shaved to the scalp. A large beard extended well beyond his chin, almost to the chest, and matched his hair in color. His eyes were deep set and blacked with war paint. Across from Stalleo a female donned in heavy steel armor sat, her features muddled by the firelight and steel helmet. A male in fur armor and a hunting bow sat to Stalleo’s left. He turned toward Regine, and asked if she was there to help, mistaking her for a mercenary. 

She told him he was and she would be better than anyone else he could find. Her fee was high though. Stalleo agreed, and told her a story.  

It was about three or four months ago when everything started going bad. My friends here, and my family, we’re doing work to the exterior of the fort when a Stormcloack courier arrived. He walked to the gate and asked if he could come inside to discuss the militia that was forming. As a good son of Skyrim, I agreed to hear him out. I opened the gate and let him in the courtyard. 

It turned out he was visiting every village and city in Skyrim. He didn’t have a horse, or carriage ride to hold capitals. Only his own two feet as mode of transportation. He looked exhausted and weary. He limped profoundly. His eyes were sunken and dark, the whites more red than not, and his cheekbones looked like they would burst free at any moment. “Come on in and have some meade,” I said.  He started to refuse but I cut him of with a hard glance. “You’re coming in for some meade and a meal. You look like you’re an hour away from being a draugr that escaped the Ansilvund crypt.” He mulled it over for a moment then nodded his head slightly as if too much movement would cause it to tumble off his neck and roll into the Treva River. I slapped him on the shoulder and guided him toward the door where my wife stood ready to ring the dinner bell. 

I led him into the dinning room and offered him a seat. “What’s your name, soldier?”

He sat down, slowly, and with a grimace splitting his face into one part pain and one part exhaustion. He sat for a moment before speaking, and when he did the words seemed just as pained as his face, “We aren’t supposed to give anyone our names, sir.” He shrunk farther into the chair, head bowed, arms limp to his sides. 

I finally noticed this man wasn’t in his late twenties or early thirties but not even out of his teens. He likely took the courier job to show his loyalty and patriotism, but didn’t account for the severe impact such a job would take on his health and body. Walking long distances for hours and hours, avoiding wolves, frostbite spiders, trolls, and Imperial patrols could age a man years within weeks. And here he sat so worn down from trying to prove himself to the Stormcloak cause he appeared to be decades older than his years actually accounted for. 

I felt a knot of sorrow and sympathy far deep inside tying up my guts and heart. This is the toll that war takes on not only those on the frontline but by everyone. When this conflict with the Imperials finally ended the whole of Skyrim and her people will bear the burden for generations. Friends and family will be dead from enemy attacks, others will die of starvation, and more still will succumb to disease and illness. Proof sat at the table, broken and scarred physically and emotionally. 

“Here you are,” my wife said, placing a bowl of tomato soup, a plate of carrots with apples and cabbage, and a platter with beef steak and crab cakes in front of our guest. “Ale or meade?” She waited for a moment, but he didn’t answer. She placed a flagon of ale on the table. My wife handed the rest of us a bowl of tomato soup and ale. Then she sat down and gave me a slight glance, I nodded in reply. 

The message bearer sat for a time, staring at the food and drink before him. I didn’t think he would eat on his own. “Go ahead. Dig in.” He grabbed a fork with a shaky hand and took a mouthful of crab cakes. It must’ve been tasty as he ate without so much as a look up. Every morsel of food was consumed in less than five minutes. None of the rest of us had done anything but watch him eat. 

Vampire Regine Journal Entry 6 (Skyrim Anniversary Edition)

Regine Journal Entry 6

Yesterday:

On my trip to Iverstead, I walked up a winding path. I rounded a corner and a thief stopped me. He wore a hood and clothes, likely something he stole from someone else he tried to (or succeeded) shakedown for money. But his blood spoke to me, and I felt his confidence was shaky at best. He approached with a threat and asked me for all my money. I wondered if I could kill him. But I didn’t try. Instead I narrowed my eyes at him, fixed my jaw, and told him I didn’t have any money and it would be in his best interest to walk away. 

He astonished me when he stammered and then agreed to just walk away. When he was out of sight, I smiled. It felt strange to smile. Then a question formed in my mind: was my powers of persuasion and seduction becoming stronger and more convincing? Would I soon be able to just talk my way into the homes and lives of others? Did I not have the appearance of a vampire? Aside from my pale skin, I didn’t know the answer to this curiosity. 

Further along the path and uneasiness crashed over me like a way from an icy sea. I sensed a presence, something terribly dangerous. I advanced cautiously, hoping my more comprehensive powers would alert me before I stumbled into something (or someone) ferocious. 

A guttural sound formed off in the distance. I saw the cave before I noticed the troll! Brown, aggressive, and extremely dangerous. I had heard stories about these creatures attacking wanderers. Feasting upon them and anything else that trespassed. I understood from tales they could regenerate their health, making them more formidable than other creatures in the wilds of Skyrim. 

I idled for a moment and watched. It patrolled near the entrance of the cave. It often growled and hoped up and down with a flailing of the arms. Then in would skulk to the opposite end of the cave and repeat the display. I watched as a rabbit skittered too close and enraged the troll. It shuffled after the intruder. I took my cue and made a break for the river in the opposite direction. I scrambled into the water and stumbled over moss-slicked rocks and stones, falling face-first into the cold water. 

I arrived in Iverstead to find a bear had invaded the village and most of the townsfolk were attacking it relentlessly, protecting their homes. I joined in and helped them dispatch the bear before heading for the inn for some rest. When I awoke I heard some conversation about a place called Treva’s Watch. A group of bandits had confiscated the outpost from a local. A man named Stalleo. He was seeking help to overthrow the thugs and would be willing to pay for any assistance. I wondered if he would be willing to pay with his life. I could tear his throat out and—

I shoved the thought away. But decided I would seek out this man and offer some help. If nothing else I would be able to sink my teeth into some bandits. They are, after all, relatively easy to manage as I learned in the Embershard Mine. 

Vampire Regine Journal Entry 5 (Skyrim Anniversary Edition)

Regine Journal Entry 5

The mine is well-lit with torches. I take them down as I creep along. They will definitely expose me and make the prey more difficult to subdue and feast upon. A tripwire stretches across the ground, it will trigger a rock trap if I’m not careful. I skirt around it carefully. 

The air is thick and cool. Damp and musty. Dust hangs in the air, sparkling from the flickering light of the torches. When I snuff out the torches, the dust recedes into the darkness of the cave as though it isn’t safe to be unexposed. 

As I creep forward, i can hear voices. A discussion about the guard securing the door; the guard i already dispatched. They are bandits and their blood won’t be the most flavorful, but being cautious is more important right now. I don’t need to be exposed. Vampires aren’t the most welcome of creatures, even by the lowlife of Skyrim. I image fear is why vampires are so loathed. 

I wait patiently, hungrily. The two men separate. This is beneficial as I can attack them individually. Although, I feel more and more powerful with every feeding, I am not confident I can take on more than one of the living. One of them walks down a lit corridor (I haven’t been able to remove all the torches), and the other lies on a bedroll. I advance on him. 

Back outside in the daytime, I cringe against the sunlight. The heat and brightness saps my strength and energy. But it doesn’t feel as powerful a drain as before. The eight bandits inside the mine fully satisfied me, and one in particular (the archer) tasted sweet. There was something in her blood that seemed to speak to me. A few words floated along her blood, within her veins. Riften. The Thieves Guild. 

I think I should attempt to join The Thieves Guild. If it actually exists. Ready access to homes, to people, to blood. They will know where people live. Yes, that would prove quite advantageous. 

Vampire Regine Journal Entry 4 (Skyrim Anniversary Edition)

Regine Journal Entry 4

I’m on my way to Riverwood, a small village south of Whiterun. I understand there are no guards protecting the small hamlet. A thought blazes through my mind. no guards, no protection. but from what? From me? Is it possible that i am now considering slaughter of everyone living. I shake the thought away, focusing instead on the trip. 

Wolves attack me shortly after I pass an Imperial patrol with what I assume is a Stormcloak rebel. I consider for a moment to decimate the entire contingent. But I don’t. Perhaps there is some humanity still left in this undead heart. This thought leads to another question: do I still have a soul? Moreover, does it matter if I do? 

Riverwood is close, I smell the residents. I enter the east side of town and find the local drunk hovering around the inn. I approach him and stop. Something is wrong with him, within him. Inside his blood. I offer him a drink. He takes it without hesitation.

I am weary from the trip and the excess sunlight. The sun seems to wear on me now. I believe I will miss it’s welcoming and rejuvenating rays. Now only blood reinvigorates me. 

Inside the inn I sense a human with unique blood. It calls to me, but she is awake and wandering the inn, engaging in an argument with the man behind the counter. He has something in his blood, too. But it isn’t alluring or enticing. 

My sleep is restless, devoid of dreams and wants and desires. I arise and leave the inn. Outside the sun stings my eyes, and I instinctively search for shade. 

The blacksmith is an intriguing person. He's passionate about his daughter and often bickers with his wife. He doesn’t tell me this but I know anyway. 

I leave town, and head west. Not far, I notice a mine. Bandits inhabit this mine. And I am hungry. 

Vampire Regine Journal Entry 3 (Skyrim Anniversary Edition)

Regine Journal Entry 3

(Font change)

The bandits at Silent Moons Camp are no match for my growing power. I dispatch them rather easily. New forms of magic arise within me and I use it to take them down. I’m sneaky, quiet, and bloodthirsty. Somehow I can even will myself to be unseen. My mother used to say powerful mages could bend light and become invisible. Somehow I can do this. It is intoxicating. Enrapturing! 

I leave the broken and battered and drained bodies behind and head for a walled city. I believe the community is Whiterun, the most well-known location in all of Skyrim. This is most likely because of it’s central location within the province. The mild weather and wide-open landscape is also a deciding factor. 

Whiterun reminds me of home. I grew up in Northpoint. My father fished the Etheric Ocean and my mother was a trader (selling my father’s catch most of the time). Seven years ago they died at the hands of some thugs from Evermore. The bandits were hired by a rival fisherman. They stole everything not fastened down and torched the rest, including my parents. Only their teeth remained after the fire finally snuffed out. After that, I left. Not knowing where I was going, but wherever it was would be okay as long as it was a long way away. 

Two guards stand on either side of the large doors. Their blood calls to me but I resist. I wonder if my control is accidental from recent feedings or if I can manage my thirst more now? They do not speak or stop me, and I’m allowed to enter unmolested. 

Inside, a man and woman are having a heated discussion, and although I’m not close to them, I can hear each word. I approach just as the conversation ends. The man in Imperial armor asks me something random. His heartbeat is all I can clearly make out. It’s powerful and steady. He is a strong human. I answer his question without ever hearing it. My reply pleases him. I wonder if he can feel that I now have control. I watch as he walks away. 

There are more heartbeats. All around me. Within me. The hunger begins to grow. A small bunkhouse to my left has three guards within. I don’t know how I feel this. I enter and feed on the two sleeping men. A third man sits, he’s the watchman. I need him. Want him. Want, want, want!

He suddenly stands, dazed, entranced. I take the risk and feed while he is unaware. Then, as starkly as he stood and offered himself to me, he sits back in his chair—none the wiser. 

I leave and head directly to the guardhouse. I seem to know exactly where I’m headed. An unseen power guiding me along the cobblestone to where more guards slumber. I’m getting bolder.

Vampire Regine Journal Entry 2 (Skyrim Anniversary Edition)

Regine Journal Entry 2

(changing format to present tense)

I exit the cave. Outside the darkness seems to warm me. The rain lit upon my skin, but it isn’t cold as most rain within Skyrim. I only feel the wetness.

And there is also moisture around my mouth, drying on my chin. The hunger had taken control of me, and the dead bandit was just there…

I shake away the memory, partially from fear and repulsion. Fear of the enjoyment and warmth of the blood. Repulsed by the act itself. Am I now a vampire? A vampire!

I break out in a run. Somewhere. Anywhere. As far from the cave as quickly as possible. I am disoriented. Just go. Run!

Someone in the distance. A guard. Another cave. Fear engulfs me. But so does something else. Hunger.

After I killed the bandit, I feed. It’s an instinct now. I am a vampire. A VAMPIRE! 

Revulsion overwhelms me again and I run. I need distance. But from what and to where? The more I leave my old life behind, the more my new life (as a vampire) begins. Still, I cannot help myself. My legs power themselves as though they are controlled of a different mind, body, or…force? 

I see something in the distance. A tomb maybe? Draugr inhabit tombs. But there aren’t any draugr in this tomb. This one has living blood. And lots of it, beaconing me as I get closer. A need wells up deep within. I must feed again… 

Vampire Regine Journal Entry 1 (Skyrim Anniversary Edition)

Regine Journal Entry 1

I regained consciousness slowly as if swimming up from a depth in dark, murky water. I’m confused, my memories no longer cohesive but a scattering of visions. I saw a man. Attractive and alluring. His eyes (a strange reddish hue?) seemed to have gripped me so powerfully and debilitatingly I couldn’t move nor resist. But did I want to? I felt no fear. Rather…curiosity? Was that it? Was I curios? And if so, why? 

The cavern? cave? dungeon? was dark. A woman mumbled something I didn’t or couldn’t fully comprehend. I heard a sound behind me. A creaky, racketing sound. Fear had gripped me then. 

I looked down and saw I was in new clothing. Gloves with sharp, pointed tips, a red gown, low cut, barely covered breasts, and dark boots. 

Pain rippled through me and I felt a hunger unlike anything I had before. I smelled something I would place within death, maybe the stench of…draugrs? I’d heard stories of the bone-walkers as a child, but waved away the stories of them as tales to keep children away from the tombs and crypts. 

The stone corridor was narrow with only one torch hung on the wall for light. I rounded the corner and saw a man. His skin was pale. He paced. A cage (torture chamber?) nestled against the opposite wall. Next to it appeared to be a dead female bandit. But why wasn’t she in the cage? Moreover, why was she here at all? Did she sneak in to steal? And if so, how did she get by the woman who was mumbling?

I approached the man. He said something that chilled me. I needed to get out. To escape! I took whatever I could and made a break for it. 

Back into the cavern, I saw what appeared to be living skeletons. Not draugr, but actual skeletons standing and wandering around, making a creaking noise. Then woman saw me but didn’t accost me or attempt to keep me from leaving as I approached the exit to the cave. I”m felt certain it was a cave now. 

I wondered if leaving would make me free. Or would I become a slave to something else? And if so, what?

Skyrim SE: My Mods

Unlike many people using mods to play Skyrim, I only use a small handful. And some of those are completely convenience mods. Some mods just allow me to continue growing my characters without the need to declare skills legendary, and they let me build more rounded characters, but they certainly aren’t needed so I won’t include them here.

To be fair some of the mods I am going to share aren’t necessarily must-haves but the do make the game more enjoyable from my standpoint. And essentially that’s all this post offers: my experience with the mods I use and what they might offer you in turn. Now, keep in mind some of these mods may be viewed by you as cheats and that’s fair. But since this is a single player game you’re free to do whatever you want and only have the right to judge yourself.

Anyway, enough disclaimer jumbo-jumbo and let’s get to the mods, which may or may not be available on the platform you play on. I’m on Xbox One X.

The mod I use to make the environment more better (ha ha) is Dolomite Weathers and Lighting Overhaul by Megaloblast. A significantly darker evening requiring artificial light, more intense rainstorms, and different weather options. I’ll also include the A Quality World Map-Vivid with Stone Roads by Chesko. This is simple, it makes the map readable. And finally Dawnguard Map Markers by Arthmoor. This adds markers to nearly all Dawnguard related maps like the Soul Cairn and Forgotten Vale.

Now onto the gameplay mods. Immersive Citizens by Arnaud.dorchymont, which allows you to hear cut dialog and keep all your NPCs alive as you can set them to flee from danger and not attack you when you’re rampaging guards as a werewolf.  Immersive Patrols by Ameermohamedtt. This just adds various patrols throughout Skyrim, which may or may not be hostile. It also adds civil war battles in various locations and forts, which is a great boost to build your skills in my next gameplay mod: Moonlight Tales by Brevi 11. If you want to play as a werewolf this is fantastic. More werewolf perks and skins (even werebears but the skins are the only differences), the ability to be a werewolf right out of Helgen, the ability to cure lycanthropy at any time, the ability to set involuntary werewolf transformations, and the ability to summon blood kin (werewolves and/or wolves) to aid you in combat. I do not believe this mod is available for PS4 users. The mod Werewolf Perks Expanded does offer some additional perks to the beast form though. Moving on to Alchemist Respite, which is a small mod that changes the weight of potions from .5 to .1. Next up is Stones of Barenziah quest markers. This mod flags each location for all 24 gems except the on inside the Dark Brotherhood Sanctuary. And finally my favorite mod for gameplay: Complete Smithing by ThordTV. A simple but exceptionally useful smithing mod. It completely overhauls smithing after Steel smithing. With this mod you no longer have to choose heavy or light as they are combined as you go. So Elven and Dwarven are level 30, Orchish and Advanced at level 50, Arcane and Faction (allows crafting of unenchanted faction clothing like Thieves Guild and Nightingale armor), Glass and Ebony at level 70, Daedric and Dragon at level 100 and Orsinic (higher quality lower-level armor using dragon bones) also at level 100. The mod also grants XP for turning hides into leather and ore into ingots.

Onto character creation. Unfortunately most of these won’t be available on PS4. Better Males by Alaan, Apachii Sky Hair Lite by Apachii, CBBE Body Slim from Jeir, and the superb clothing mod from Jeir: Keo’s Skimpy Outfits for CBBE Slim. Just go with the Forsworn Armor set and avoid the Nightingale armor. Most armor sets are changed to two piece and not one. Thieves Guild Armor, fur armor, elven armor are all tops with skirts. Is it realistic? Of course not. But neither is wearing glass against a warhammer or battleaxe.

Short and sweet. I’ll give my thoughts on the best Creation Club content I’ve purchased in the next post.